Posted by: Joan Spiller | June 1, 2010

Don’t drink & cook!

The fire dept will tell you it’s dangerous to cook and drink and we’ve all seen the ads on telly showing houses burning down while a tanked-up cook nods off right in the middle of frying something. Of course, one always has to fry things when smashed out of one’s tiny mind – never ever does one feel compelled to crack open some juice and make a big ol’ mung bean sandwich. Much as the fire dept wishes they would..

But that’s a topic for another day, why fried food and hangovers / booze go so well together. I’m here to offer you some more compelling reasons why you should not cook under the influence!

Of course, we can’t all be like this guy: 
who managed to get Jesus Christ in his burnt fry pan.

Mine usually comes out more like this:

And have you noticed that the plastic lid handle always goes down on the element when it is hot? 
I’ve worked out that this is one of the basic rules of CUI!

Another reason not to drink and cook (and I’m not talking go out, get trollied, come home and cook a midnight feed – I am talking, have a few wines and then get cooking) is that sometimes the temptation to be ‘creative’ just cannot be overcome. For example the time I thought adding a bit of colour to the meal might be fun ..  

May we all say “eww” and move on:

Mashed Potatoes ala (hic) Joan
Quinelled or not, still a bad idea Joan!

What I want to know is why is it SO hard to concentrate when you’re CUI? Do you suppose it’s some sort of cosmic thing – the universe paying you back for being a lush in the kitchen and making things burn faster than they normally would..??

Bruschetta, anyone?

Sometimes it IS worth crying over spilt milk!

(Mostly when it’s time to clean it up)

What I have learned in my time is that if you’re gonna drink and cook – you need to either have the food so it’s re-heat only or else ensure all your dinner guests or companions drink along with you. That way they too will love the green mashed potatoes when inspiration hits. Heck they may even have their own good ideas! They’ll also find the spilt milk uproariously funny, use the charc.. er, the bread to draw funny pics with .. And then help you dial out for pizza ..

Bon Appetit?


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