Posted by: Joan Spiller | June 11, 2010

Don’t some recipes just sound nasssty?


My personal dislikes include any recipe that has “healthy” in the title. Whenever I see that, I immediately suspect it is code for “I will have absolutely no flavour.. or butter, cream or anything delicious going on – eat me if you dare!”

Another word that puts me off even looking at a recipe is “gluten free”. I know, that’s 2 words. Luckily, I am not intolerant of gluten – perhaps if I bloated up like a small building immediately after eating a slice of bread that sort of title wouldn’t put me off. But it just doesn’t sound appetising to me.

Nor do I like recipes that contain words I do not understand or ingredients I’ve not heard of.

Lotus root stir fry” for example. Now to be fair, I tend to think of stir fry as a diet meal so to combine it with roots and leaves and well, may we all just say no thanks .. What the heck is a lotus root when it’s at home anyway?

Any recipe that starts with “protein packed” (usually followed by the words “tofu” or “bean soup” gross me out. Don’t get me wrong, I care about the nutritional value of my food, especially as a vegetarian. But I can kinda work it out for myself when I read the recipe.

And I’m sorry but “high protein waffles” containing cottage cheese leave me cold! I plan to try them one day, just to see if I am being unkind, but I don’t expect to fall wildly in love with them..

S’more that don’t do it for me:

Fish tacos. May we all say ew.
But wait, I’ve seen worse: tofu cabbage tacos..
I know. I’m sorry.

Without wishing to sound precious – anything with feet in the recipe: bad.

As well “MOULD” in the title can tend to make me a bit squeamish. I did science in school and I can handle (now I’m all growed up) mushrooms being what they are .. And I no longer want to gag when I see (or smell!) blue cheese: in fact I like it. But for all that, I am quite happy to deny my food has anything to do with spores.

Food starting with G all sounds horrible – for example: Guava, Goulash, Gluten free, Grits (yeccch), Grapefruit, Gelatin, Gizzards, Gruel, Groat, Gremolata ..No, that actually tastes fine, I take the accusation back..

Blood should not be in the title of a recipe either: Blood Pudding. Blood Orange. Blood milkshake. OK I made that one up … or did I?

Let’s see, my top three icky sounding dishes would have to be:

1. Spotted Dick.
2. Toad in the hole. Said with the accent so it’s Toed in de ‘ol
3. Jellied eels

And while I’m on this topic can someone tell me please, what on earth is acquacotta?
Sounds like watery pudding to me!But if you want, you can find out more in the link above 🙂

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Responses

  1. I just discovered your blog and skipped straight to the rant section. This is a really fun topic. I have to agree with you on almost everything. That is except for grits. I’m a southern girl and I adore grits, especially when loaded with diced serranos and lots of cheese.

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    • Serranos are chillies?

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      • Yes they are a kind of hot pepper. Somewhat hotter than a jalapeno but not quite as hot as a habenero. My makes the best grits EVER. She bakes them in a casserole dish with cheddar and garlic. They come out kind of firm like polenta. I’ve never seen them served that way at a restaurant though.

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      • If I’d read your original comment more closely I’d have seen they were chillies, sorry about that!

        As I said to you on your blog – I was decidedly unimpressed with grits when I tried them last year. Loved all the other southern food tho 😉

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  2. Anything with Vegan in the title especially if it’s got Tofu as an ingredient. Don’t get me wrong, I love fruits and vegetables and half my dinners are vegetarian and a few are even vegan but I have never seen a recipe with Vegan in the title that I would eat or cook.

    I just cant stand sanctimonious vegetarians proselytizing and evangelically trying to convert everyone to their beliefs when most are poor and uncreative cooks.

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    • I saw a recipe yesterday that looked like sick on a plate. I think it was mashed lentils mixed with mashed egg plant and something else, with a side of radishes and cucumber. What staggers me is these are all things I like (well, I could take or leave radish) yet they were all thrown up onto this plate and if I was a meat eater I’d be thinking “uh, no”.

      Parsimonious vegies irritate me and I AM a vege! Sheesh ..

      I suppose they’re a bit like ex-smokers, they’ve “seen the light” and now feel obliged to educated (harp on at) all their smoker friends – doing nothing but irritate ’em 😉

      Personally, I believe the human body is designed to eat animal protein. I do not digest my food well, and need to take iron injections and B12 injections annually. And I know how to cook good, balanced vegetarian food and do so all the time!

      PS while I’m on a rant, have you ever noticed how so many of the more militant vegetarian / vegans look so pale and unhealthy? Thin, wan and kind of ‘wishy washy’? They scare me 😉

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      • Funny Thing, when I went to your site, I never noticed you were a vegetarian which I consider a compliment . Good Food is the Only Food. The first recipe I noticed was “Palmiers – Recipe” and my only thoughts were I would definitely like to try it but don’t have the patience to make it.

        I made a sous vide Turkey Confit salad tonight for dinner and it was great but I substituted olive oil for duck fat or lard and don’t know what to call it. Is this Healthy Turkey Confit or since it had artichoke hearts, black olives, arugula and roasted red peppers in the salad do I call it “Turkey Confit Sous Vide Ensalada Italiana”
        As to the pasty look of vegetarians, I hate to say I still get more worried about protein deficient demetria which seems to force them to proselytize on my lifestyle.
        And to your broken leg, get well soon and my diseased wife loved her porterhouse rare and ate beef out and at home as often as I could tolerate it and died from complications of a broken ankle. So much for the calcium argument.

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  3. sweet breads! What a misnomer – animal balls ewww

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  4. persimmon sounds weird to me.

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  5. LOL! I saw you linked to my waffle recipe, and I totally hear you on the gross food titles! I think “curd” is a gross word and “fermented” gets me going, although I do enjoy these foods (yogurt, etc.). Just don’t want to hear the word in the title.

    Yes, you will have to try the waffles. I’m not a cottage cheese fan in general (what is it with people that put it in lasagna? Don’t they know how yummy/authentic a good ricotta is?) but in the waffle recipe it is *thoroughly blended* so it just becomes like a higher protein buttermilk pancake recipe (oh sorry, shouldn’t have used the word protein…).

    Hope you give it a chance.
    ~Bronwyn

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    • OH I forgot fermented, fooey!! heheh Altho oddly, I love to use the word curd which is really too close to curdle for it to be a good thing huh!

      Hope ya didn’t mind my slagging off one of your recipes – I decided to link it into mine in case anyone wanted to try them too 😉
      Good call on the ricotta comment too, it just doesn’t cut it, cc in lasagne – I know, I’ve tried it!..

      I will def give the waffle recipe you have a go and then report back 😉

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