Posted by: Joan Spiller | September 22, 2010

It’s my Mum’s birthday

in 2 weeks..

Mum was a real “event” person. Sure, she was shy as hell..  But she DID stuff on certain dates. Be it Xmas (which always became a frenzy of shopping, wrapping, stress and cooking til exhaustion hit on Dec 26th) to birthdays .. she did seem to love a ‘function’.

Which reminds me, I must contact her best friend, Barbara (same name / best friends for 40+yrs – very cool) and say happy birthday, theirs were only a day or so apart and they always “did lunch” between the 2 birthdays. I can imagine it’ll be a weird birthday for living Barbara this year.

So, Mum’s been dead 10 months almost. Hard to believe really. Seems only yesterday I was sitting in some random driveway, nursing her head in my lap. Dead, but not gone. Dad busy talking to police. CJ, Corey, Chris and others standing around on a cold night, wondering WTF was going on. What to say or do ..

Time flies. And not always when you’re having fun..?

I was told the first year is the hardest. The “anniversaries”. A birthday, a Mother’s day, a Christmas – all without that person who was once alive, around and involved. A person who noticed if I planted new seedlings, if *her* violets flowered more than the year before, a person who “got” the stuff a “MUM” gets.

Truthfully.. I doubt the magical figure of 1-year makes a blind bit of difference! Some people probably are over “it” 5 mins after the funeral. Others may take years and / or never deal with it. Me? I’m not really sure where I sit 😉

That said, CJ is arriving to visit me tomorrow for a few days. And I’m SO excited. And she seems to be too. I love that girl so much it hurts, in a totally good way.

I can’t wait to see her, we’re going to have facials, get our hair done, go out for dinner and have some fun together. I miss being around her, while down here in Wgtn that is for sure!

So, how would CJ feel if I was dead?  I HOPE she’d feel like hell (Sorry kid) ..

And I have to admit, I kinda hate how we all move on.
There I said it.

I’ll be seriously pissy (OK I’ll be dead, I may not be so pissy but anyway) if she moves on too soon after I kick the bucket.

ESP if it happens before I’m 103 – cos man, I have so much I wanna do, I need to be that age cos I will not have done half of it by age 62 at the rate I am going 😉

Aint life grand!

But yes, it sure as hell beats the alternative I know!

Mum & Dad at their 40th wedding anniversary ..



  1. I have dreaded the 25th of each month since November 2009.The date brings no joy only a remberance that another important person in my life has gone. I think of you all often with each special date that has come and gone for you all.
    As the 1st year draws closer I am dreading the speed in which it is coming around again.
    A generation has gone and with it the wisdom,support and knowledge that I came to depend on so strongly.(If only I had realised how much)
    I am discovering the loss is no less today than it was in November.


  2. How is your dad,your parents always seemed so much in love,even after so many years together that spark never seemed to fade,they always showed respect for each other,so un-like my parents!


    • Dad is fine, Sonia – thanks .. They did seem to share something special didn’t they.


  3. wow it does not seem like 10mths have passed since my beautiful aunties passing! I remember her birthday well as my dad (her older brother) would send a single red rose to his sister for her birthday each year and her birthday is 3 days after mine.


    • yeah that was lovely .. I was just thinking about us all the other day and realised all that “side” of the family was gone now.. I know life goes on and everyone recovers etc but like you say: hard to believe it’s been 10 months.


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