Posted by: Joan Spiller | August 21, 2011

It’s my funeral, I’ll cry if I want to!

I’m drawing up my final Will & testament this week. A scary thing to do, cos let’s face it – who likes the idea of dropping dead any time, let alone soon? mm .. me either..

Although I like to hope she won’t be tooooo excited by this concept, CJ is the sole beneficiary of my estate. Wonder if she knows this means she has to pay all my bills when I kick the bucket? 😉

Part of me kinda likes the idea of providing for my off-spring. As a parent it’s kinda what ya do, right?

Another part of me wants her to SO not need it cos I’ll be so old by the time I die, she’ll have her own life going on and my estate will be of limited interest..

As a member of the Spiller family, this is a possibility cos they either drop dead very young or last for decades past what’s normal. I’m aiming for the latter so long as I am healthy, the former if I am at all sickly.

0 tolerance for sickly!

For all that I jest tho, it is kinda scary contemplating one’s mortality!

For example, do you know what you want on your headstone? Will you have a grave + headstone or will your family fry you, without thinking or even knowing what you want?

What music do you want played? Do you want music played? How would you feel if everyone stood up and banged on in a religious fashion about death, eternal life and such matters?

What if someone said something that just wasn’t congruous with who you are .. were .. ?

Sure, it wouldn’t really matter – you’re dead I know. But it’d be kinda nice to have some element of certainty, no?

Me, I want to be in the Spiller family plot in Napier. Problem is – due to space constraints – this means I MUST be cremated .. not something I like the idea of .. but I am trying to work thru that, lol

I always fancied the idea of a gravesite even before dealing with the somewhat bizarre experience of having my Mum cremated. To me, the idea of a place people can “come visit” appeals.

But would they ..? Probably not .. ? As the saying says: Life goes on. We may think we’re all that whilst alive but once dead .. gone.. no longer in the picture..

I’d also like to have some say in the songs played. I just now heard one I’d like played. It’s a song I’ve long loved. “Seasons in the sun”. Know it?

Would you want bagpipes played at your funeral? I would. Nothing is more apt, I think. Would people know that about me tho? Perhaps not ..

What if someone decides you love red carnations (for the record, I LOATHE them) and your casket is draped in the damn things? Way to go!

Would those left behind know if you’d want a cardboard / environmentally friendly coffin or a grand oak casket with real gold handles?

These are all things we suddenly all have to think about when dealing with someone’s death. It’s big business, afterall.

I am unsure if I want people to be able to get up and speak at the service .. I know I want the service to have some meaning. To be something people go “yes, that was apt for Joan”.

Not sure quite how one coordinates such a thing tho?

Wish me luck, I may need it!

For now, I shall go back to recalling all my worldly possesions and listing them as assets for the kid..Er, do cats & magnets count as assets?



  1. I have done mine and have also written out what I want sung, played or whatever. I remember Mum used to try and talk to me about hers and I told her she would be chasing the milkman for years yet!!!!!!! But one day I sat and listened as I knew it was important to her that her wishes were carried out. And they were, exactly as she had asked. Good luck Joan!!!!! Live LONG and HAPPY!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: