Posted by: Joan Spiller | December 9, 2011

Bored Meetings

Now when Titan was a young thing, some years ago I decided to take him to work as part of his ‘socialisation’ programme. The thing with dobermann dogs is they’re big and scary looking and if raised wrong – big and scary!

So I would take him everywhere I could, to ensure he just got used to ‘stuff’ and wasn’t the type of dog that would react in fear of his setting. Scared dogs are dangerous dogs, in my experience.

Ok so I may have done this too well cos he’s now completely bullet-proof and KNOWS he’s the adored baby but better that than the alternative 😉

He was around 6 months old for this visit, still very excitable .. all feet, enthusiasm and minimal brain. I had him on a short leash, glued to my side (even then he was heavy enough if he wanted to – he could just take off if I wasn’t braced and holding him in check) as I took him up the stairs to the engineering dept.

And so it was that I was standing chatting to one of the guys.. Titan standing very keenly looking around nothing major going on in his lil pea brain apart from “hey man, stuff”.

Til one of the guys from another desk decided to throw a bloody ball and yell “fetch”.

My arm was yanked from its socket as Titan ripped himself free from my hold and raced across the room to do as instructed. “Fetch” is one of his fave things to do in the world.. And so this morning was looking up .. from his perspective anyway!

I called him to me in my “come here or die, mutt” tone and almost had him til someone else thought it’d be funny to throw the ball and next thing this pup is having a whale of a time charging around after the ball as it went from desk to desk.

Only problem was that he liked to do what I referred to as “victory laps” when he fetched and caught something..

So at home, he’d catch whatever it was then race off and come running back from the yard all pleased with himself, before dropping the ball at my feet to go again.

Yeah.. Slight problem. NO BOUNDARY FENCES in the $#@! office.

For reasons that are still not clear to me – the damn double doors at the end of the engineers office were open. They’re NEVER open. But this day they were.

And so – filled with all the joy and enthusiasm of 6-months on earth and catching the ball – Titan charged towards the doors and before I could mobilise the troops – was gone.

Hardly a train smash. He was inside the building and so I charged off after him to catch him whilst not being overly stressed out..

Til I got to the doors and saw (with a sinking feeling in my gut) that across the hallway the boardroom entertaining space was set up and the doors were open with a bunch of board members standing about having a cup of tea before the meeting started.

Now I wasn’t the only one to observe this. Titan had seen a bunch of new friends in the making and he hurtled his way around the floor and charged straight thru the doors into the boardroom.

In what can only be described as a scene from a bad bad sitcom meets black comedy, I had no choice but to race in after him.

Imagine the scene, if you will..

Elegantly attired middle-aged board member types.
Cups of earl grey tea.
Quiet conversation before the meeting commences.

Refinement plus.

And now imagine Titan running between their legs showing off his $#@! ball to everyone as he did the victory lap from hell.
With me in tow..

“Excuse me!” .. Pant pant .. “So sorry .. ” .. Huff puff .. Mutter snarl (me, not the dog) “Terribly sorry” … “Oh hello sir, yes uh .. no not my dog it ran in off the street honestly” .. “Excuse us please..” 

I kid you not: it was as tho time slowed as I weaved my way thru’ the throng .. fantasising about BBQ’d Titan for dinner that night.

Eventually the lil $#@! decided to stop and be petted by the chairman of the board who – to my surprise – smiled at me (as I died before his very eyes) and then he uttered words that to this day probably saved my job! 

“oh he’s handsome, I used to have dobes”.

There’s a club you see .. A club of “us in the know”. Of those who just don’t care when a puppy does what a puppy does, cos they’ve been there / done it too.

I threw up a prayer of thanks to the universe for my good luck, snatched Titan’s lead from the ground at our feet and – with as much dignity as I could muster – excused myself one final time and dragged the mutt away.

And no, I never took him back again..

Although there was this one time I took the cockatoo in and had her shriek (oops, I mean sing) happy birthday to the receptionist .. whilst (unbeknownst to us all) 2 General Managers were conducting a job interview down the hall. More on that later..



  1. What a fantastic memory Joan. Love it. He is a gorgeous looking dog.


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