Posted by: Joan Spiller | May 23, 2012

Taking Stock – A recipe (of sorts)


Over the last couple of years I’ve lost both my parents and a long term relationship / engagement. I moved towns (twice) AND moved ‘residences’ 4 times, just for good measure. Oh yeah, and I bought real estate. Changed jobs a few times and did I mention I lost a favourite (shh, don’t tell Hootie k) pet?

Someone told me 2 days ago that ONE of these things is considered an event significant enough to make one go a bit loopy – so I perhaps should take some pride in the fact that I don’t sit rocking in a corner sucking my thumb?

Yeccchhhh, who knows where that thumb has been!? 😉

Anyway, I digress ..

The last month or so has been a sort of self-imposed time out period for me. A time of introspection. Time to just BE. To sit and drink coffee in the sunshine, to laugh at the antics of my 3 black cats playing in the yard. To spend time with my daughter, who soothes me in a way no one can probably comprehend. A time to take stock and to look forward.

It’s fair to say I’m almost half way through my life. And I’ve crammed quite a lot into the last 40+ years. A lot I’m proud of, a lot I’m surprised I survived (lol) and there’s a whole lot that I could have probably have done without but it all adds up to the sum that is Joan.

A bit like making a stock, where you mix together a bunch of things and when it all comes together you have the base for something fabulous I guess our life experiences can be viewed the same.

When I die I want people to be sad I am gone but to look back at my involvement in their lives and go: “It was kinda fun / neat / tiring / expensive (whatever – you can insert your own adjective here) having her around”.

For the record, I don’t plan on this event taking place any time soon so don’t bother dusting off your black suits just yet!

Anyone who knows me, knows I have applied the mantra “WHY NOT?” to my adult life. Not able to during my childhood, having been raised in an oddly conservative, ultra strict environment, I well recall the day I woke up and realised this whole life thing wasn’t a dress rehearsal and I needed to make some changes.

That I needed to start living my life!

It was such a relief, to realise that it wasn’t at all smart to live my life solely for other people – that in trying to please everyone I simply made myself unhappy and often times didn’t actually please people as much as I’d expected.

From then on life became a lot more enjoyable, for all there have been times I’ve been kicked to the curb (and sat dusting myself off thinking “Ouch!”) that’s just LIFE and it’s OK.

I guess this is just my way of saying “I’m alive”? Or: “I’m baaaack!” 😉

It’s also my way of saying I have a few big decisions to make in the coming days as I throw myself into the next chapter of the book of Joan and I’m a little scared and a lot excited.

Hang on, k – it’s gonna be interesting!

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Responses

  1. Just sending you all the good vibes you need Joan I’m sure you will make the perfect decision that’s good for you…..have missed you on Facebook and your pigeons 🙂 good luck

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  2. good luck with all of that – plenty to chew over. in the meantime soup is fabulous! and jsut this week i ate a dish of baby peas with wilted rocket tossed thru it. i hate peas but it was wonderful, so i guess the message is keep an open mind and be prepared to try something new.

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    • oh I hate peas as a rule too but in some things they totally work – I can’t have a curry without a fistful of them being thrown in at the end. Work them apples (or peas!) out 😉

      I’m all for trying new stuff .. fingers crossed I make the right call!

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  3. I wondered what had happened to you – thought you had unfriended me :(. Pleased to hear you are back in the land of the living and look forward to the next installments of the book of Joan.

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    • I will make it up to you with some scones on Friday k 🙂

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  4. Sounds exciting, good luck

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    • Thanks Kimmie .. watch this space, who knows what will happen but it’s all part of the journey I guess .. damn not knowing everything before we embark on (new) things 😉

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