If only I didn’t have pets

I’d have a perfect home!

If I didn’t have cats, I wouldn’t have dirty paw prints the length of my hallway. On my loo lid. On the shelf in the bathroom, where they sit keeping me company while I shower etc

I’d sleep soundly without having to lift the covers to let one in (Inky, when she gets cold and comes-a-burrowing) or one out (Hootie, when he gets too hot).

I wouldn’t have claw marks on my new leather couches. Odds are my dining table would not have a cat bed on it (so the timid girl cat can escape the dog and rest) Nor would I have fur all over my office chair, where Hootie likes to occasionally nap.

I’d probably not have mats that are regularly in the wash,  after Inky’s decided to drag some meat off the plate, all the way across the kitchen and over onto the mat to eat it (WHY does she do this?!)

If I didn’t have a pigeon, other than knowing that pigeons really do nothing but poop. And lay eggs. And poop, always the poop. I’d also not have to sweep quinoa and chia seeds (yes, she’s indulged, I know) off my bench, out of my shoes, off the floor – every single day cos she has some annoying requirement to flick the seeds from side to side in her bowl and anywhere else she can!

I’d not have to shred paper every morning and scrape pigeon crap off my floor, off the side of my house and occasionally: off myself.

If I didn’t have a dog, I wouldn’t have ginga fur and paw prints all through my nice new car. I wouldn’t have manky bits of bone deposited around my house, behind curtains, under the bed – everywhere. My nights would  be peaceful, as opposed to occasionally being woken as Roxy decides to tell someone off who’s walked nearby in the dead of the night.

I probably wouldn’t have a dog bed in every room (i.e.: my house wouldn’t look like the local SPCA!)

There’s no doubt I wouldn’t have a scar on my right hand from where Percy bit me when he had a cold and was cuddled in my arms but super cranky. Piglet teeth are extremely sharp, who knew?

But if I didn’t have the cats,  I wouldn’t have someone ready for a cuddle any time I wanted one. I wouldn’t have company in the yard when I go outside to pick lemons or herbs. I’d not have at least one black cat sitting on the sill in the kitchen purring contentedly watching me as I cook dinner.

If I didn’t have a dog, I’d not know the deal with pure unconditional love. There really is something quite soothing about a dog cuddled into you when you’re sick and laying on a couch trying to get well as fast as you can.

And if I didn’t have a pigeon.. um .. well .. yeah I’m struggling with that one lmao

I sometimes look around my house at the chaos, debris, paw prints, shredded duvet covers where Hootie drags himself up (cos he’s too old to jump now) and I do think “wouldn’t it be nice to have a perfect home with perfect things that stay clean and tidy for more than 5 mins after they’re done”.

But then a cat walks past and rubs gently against my shins to say hi. The dog sighs contentedly in her basket and the pigeon makes soft crooning noises from her cage in the kitchen and I realise:

I do have the perfect home  🙂