I try to keep my blog upbeat, sharing recipes and stories that are (I hope) enjoyable to read. But today I want to do a serious post and I suspect it will descend into downright depressing before it is actually finished.. so please bear with me.
You see, this week I lost one of my favourite pets.
I know, we’re not meant to have favourites, but if you’ve ever met Josh – you know he was my baby. And how special he was. Some might say speshul..
Josh is actually the reason I have goats. Josh cried out from across the car park of the pet shop, when I was walking in to buy hens one day and Josh is who I fell in love with on sight.
I actually displayed massive self control and went home empty handed, to think about whether I should buy a goat or not. They were not on my “must have” list, I’d never really considered goats as an option. However, that evening I made up my mind that I would go back and only buy Josh.
Josh was the ugliest of all 3 kids in the pen.
He’d cut his nose, so it was scabbed with dark dried blood. He had blotchy skin and was scrawny. He had pensive eyes that always looked as tho he was a little sad..
Sam and Billy were beautiful, I knew they’d find homes easily.
Fast forward to the next day and yes, I am hopeless .. I returned home with all 3.
From day one, Josh was my baby. A real cuddler. He would crawl into my lap and nuzzle .. any time I’d go into the paddock he would elegantly reach a front paw out to me as tho to beg me for a pat. Once I got to the hut where he was most often found reclining, Josh would stand up and wrap his front legs around me, cuddling and nuzzling my head. And occasionally poking me with his horns, if he was in a cheeky mood.
He’d just started to grow his adult beard, and his horns were so big and sharp .. but he was so gentle, I never once feared he would attempt to hurt me .. his main purpose in life was to escape the paddock and come eat all the silverbeet in my garden.
He was curious, adventurous and fearless. Which is probably why he died first, as it was always him who would get into sticky situations and in this case.. his curiosity killed him.
I won’t go into details, mainly because I have no words to describe the depth of grief I felt when I looked in the paddock and saw him .. I knew immediately he was dead for all CJ attempted to resuscitate him while I sat on the ground holding his lifeless body, crying like a baby.
They weave their way into your hearts and leave you utterly devastated when they die. Esp in tragic, unexpected circumstances.As we cut the ties that strangled him, I felt like my heart was going to break into a million pieces. Josh’s once bright eyes: glassy and unseeing not curious and gently inquiring as was normal.
I find myself often looking outside, hoping it was just a horrible dream. That I will see him lording it over the others atop the hut they shared .. Countless times a day I would call to him, wave from the kitchen window .. he would always turn and look, occasionally call out a languid bleat back ..
And now he’s gone.
Buried in the paddock where he once romped and played so happily.
And I miss him so much 😦
Joshie you bought indescribable quantities of delight to my life for almost a year and I am grateful for that.
I miss you and I am so sorry I couldn’t save you, I will forever regret that.
RIP my sweet little kid.